


Aftermath

by mashamiso



Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Communication is key kids, Gen, Post good ending. this is v important, Relationship Study, habit and the road to recovery being really difficult, kamal being an avoidant dumbass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-09-02 09:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20274010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mashamiso/pseuds/mashamiso
Summary: Get up. Sweep the floor for the fifth time that morning. God, he hadn’t even thanked Flower Kid for what they did.Sigh.





	1. Please Get Therapy, Kamal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sup i havent written anything in so long. please be gentle. thanks

Adapting back to normal life was being a lot more difficult than Kamal had expected. 

Mainly because of the crippling guilt. Who would’ve thought! Not him, for sure. He had just wanted it to be over, and now that it _ was _ over, he had been holed up in his apartment for _ five weeks _ . Well-- no, it wasn’t even his apartment, Wallus had been letting him crash in his couch ever since the celebratory trip to the lake they took. Because he couldn’t pay rent anymore. Because he didn’t have a job. Because the only dental office within biking distance was Dr. Habit’s, and he didn’t even know if he was practicing dentistry anymore (he sure hoped not! :’-)), and anyway there was not a chance in _ hell _ he would be crawling back to him to ask for employment. If he had had a driver’s license, _ maybe _ he could have looked for a job somewhere else-- but of course he didn’t have a driver’s license. He was incompetent like that. Ha. God, he wanted to go back to that day at the lake. He hadn't relaxed ever since. Thought the worst had passed. So innocent. So naive. 

Luckily, Wallus didn’t seem to mind the freeloading. He mostly seemed happy to see him again, and he wasn’t really home most of the day anyway, because he was too busy being a productive member of society (unlike Kamal), and because he worked in the next town over, since he actually knew how to drive a car (unlike Kamal). 

At the very least, Kamal helped keep the place spotless, with his compulsive cleaning and all. His days had been composed of mostly that: anxiety cleaning, plus brushing his teeth until his gums bled, and fusing into the couch. Everytime he went outside, the thought of running into that kid or Habit was too overwhelming to even make it to the grocery store. Which was also what was keeping him from just surrendering to a retail job. 

Stupid, stupid ridiculously small town.

… No. Stupid him, for being a spineless idiot. What had he _expected_? Habit should’ve been _his_ problem to deal with, not the florist’s. At the moment, he had told himself there was _no_ other way. It had to be them who talked to the Doctor. But as he pressed his ear on the cold metal door to Habit’s office, trying to make out what he was saying to them, he just felt like a total piece of stupid garbage. No, he knew for a fact he was a Total Piece Of Stupid Garbage, capitalized. He could have done more! For sure! Maybe starting with _“Hey doc, are you sure you’re okay? Don’t you need to talk about anything? You know I’m here for you, right?”_. But no. Nope. He just followed orders and kept his mouth shut, as he had done for the almost four years he had worked for Habit. When he was his _actual_ dental assistant it hadn’t been too hard-- the Doctor was just that, a doctor. A really silly, quirky, and sometimes unsettling one, but the work was pretty monotone, and so their days boring and quiet. 

Kamal missed that.

Since the day he was hired, Kamal could tell Habit was... a deeply, deeply lonely man. He also could tell that he _hated_ his job, and was doing it more because he needed to eat than anything else. He found himself trying to make sure he was okay in subtle ways, following along with his silly ideas and mannerisms, and soon enough, he realized they both probably considered each other something close to a friend. Kamal figured Habit didn’t have many of those, so when his little pet project that he’d had ever since they met was shaping up to be a reality, Kamal didn’t doubt to follow along. The fact that he did so despite his doubts about it-- namely how deeply unsettled he was by his boss’ behavior the weeks leading up to the Habitat-- made Kamal realize he didn’t simply pity the guy. He cared. Like legitimately, actually, For Real cared. And he was Worried. Plus, Habit had looked so legitimately happy and giddy when he helped him put up the website that he thought… maybe, _maybe_, this was what he needed, and it would be harmless, and they'd help people, and Habit would be happy, _actually happy_, for once. 

Of course he was wrong, as always. Everything went downhill way faster than Kamal anticipated. Breakdowns became more frequent since day one. Habit became more and more manic. Sometimes, Kamal could tell he hadn’t slept at all, or he could hear him wailing all the way to his room. He thought the peak had been the Martha incident, but after that, things just kept getting worse. He found himself avoiding his boss-- his _friend_. Didn’t even ask if he was okay, just went into his office when absolutely necessary. _Obviously _he wasn’t okay, but Kamal had absolutely no idea what to do about it, and seeing him deteriorate before his very eyes just made him feel all the more helpless. What if he tried to help and Habit took it the wrong way? Then he’d get fired and kicked out of the Habitat and every bit of emotional labor he had unwittingly put into his relationship with him would have been meaningless! Agh! That's why you shouldn't get so emotionally involved with your boss in the first place, dummy! 

… Anyway, it turned out that what he feared happening did happen anyway in the worst way possible (having someone you deeply care about make fun of you for something out of your control is _so_ great, you guys, especially when you have crippling anxiety. You should try it!). So he was pretty much doomed from the start. 

Well. At least he didn’t get kicked out. But after a few days of being holed up in the roof, he kinda wished he had. 

Habit’s PSAs were _ creepy _ . He wished he could do something to help him, but also he wanted to see the guy crash and burn for being so mean to him after everything he had done to help, but also he was _ extremely _ worried for everyone’s safety, but also he didn’t think Habit would do anything to hurt them, would he? Kamal just wanted to get out of there and go home, but he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if a few days later it turned out that the Habitat imploded into itself and he didn’t do anything to stop it. Not that he had done anything useful so far, not as Habit’s assistant and not pacing anxiously on the roof, but. He would come up with _ something _. At least that’s what he told himself.

And so, Flower Kid’s arrival was a blessing. A blessing that allowed him to ignore the obvious solution: go up to Habit’s office and talk to him his own damn self. No need for that! The kid was _good_ with people! Too good! He was not! He would just make everything worse if he went. He didn’t have the courage. The kid did. They could do it. They _had_ to do it. He was actually hopeful and optimistic for once when they finally agreed to go up there. He knew they could help Boris, just like they had helped everyone there, himself included. 

So they did. And even though it was what Kamal had wanted with all his heart, he’d never felt more pathetic in his entire life than the moment he finally heard his boss’ voice take on a gentle, steady tone for the first time in months in response to whatever the hell Flower Kid did. It hit him harder than he thought it would. All that time in the Habitat and he hadn’t been able to do what the kid did in one morning. He felt even worse than when he told his parents he had decided to go to community college, and that was something!

Was he glad Habit was more or less back to normal? Of course! That's all he had wanted! But was he angry at himself? Hard yes.

On the other hand, a small voice in his head told him, he wasn’t responsible for Habit’s wellbeing. He had been his employee, nothing more, and they were both adults. He did what he could, and it’s not like Habit had been nice toward the end. He mocked him. If Kamal felt any responsibility toward him as a friend, Habit should too! He should apologize!

… But then again, turning your back on your obviously manic and unstable friend-boss because you’re afraid and can’t deal with conflict isn’t exactly the same as said manic and unstable friend-boss mocking you 1 (one) time in their unhinged, messy state. 

Whatever. Habit still had to own up to it (you’re quite the hypocrite, aren’t you, Kamal). Maybe if he had been the one to confront him, he could’ve demanded an apology. 

El-oh-el. As if. He was still convinced he could never have done what little buddy did. Ever. He didn't have the guts. Never had, never will. At least he was real with himself in that aspect. 

Kamal was hidden by the time the door opened. He didn’t want to see either of them. He couldn’t. He was a disgrace! He had to disappear into the woods and live the rest of his life as a smelly, toofbrushless cryptid goblin to avoid how _mortifying_ it would be to see the kid and be like _“Hey thanks for facing my highly unstable and unhinged boss and putting yourself in harm’s way, I’m glad you could help him like I couldn’t even though we’ve known each other for literal years and I had every opportunity to try and do what you did in there”. _Or even worse, see Dr. Habit and-- ha ha. No. He didn’t even know what he’d say. He wasn’t even going to entertain the idea. 

Fast forward. Back in town. No apartment. No job. Crash at Wallus’. Become one with couch. 

He almost thought about getting on a train back to the city, but having to stay at his parents’ and bearing all their questions and ‘we told you so’s was way too overwhelming to even consider.

Get up. Sweep the floor for the fifth time that morning. _God_, he hadn’t even _thanked_ Flower Kid for what they did.

_Sigh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was just going to be a brief kamal character study but im probably going to expand on it ;-)


	2. Thank God Dr. Habit is Not a Doctor Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! i'm going to add one little quick illustration to each chapter. i added one to the first chapter, so go check it out!  
more introspection. writing habit is hard. drawing him is also hard. sorry.

Getting better was every bit as difficult as Boris had expected.

For one, turns out finding a decent therapist was really hard, especially in such a small town. He had tried the only two that he knew of in immediate proximity: first one recommended reconnecting with his parents in the very first session, second one told him that he should fix his diet and then he’d stop being “sad”.

So. Now he was seeing a therapist out of town. Which anyone else would’ve seen as a hassle, but Boris liked the drive-- it calmed him-- and she was nice. She listened. She didn’t judge! And she was very appreciative of his Art. 

Needless to say, he was not working. The Flower Child had offered a part time at their parent’s shop, but Boris felt like… he wasn’t ready, really. Also, he got his medical license revoked after the whole ordeal. Which, fair, and good riddance.

After crashing down to planet Earth so suddenly, he felt so scrambled that he didn’t know what to do with himself. He hadn’t been that lucid in a _ long _ time. So painfully aware of everything. There were so many things he wanted to do! People he wanted to apologize to! Bills he needed to pay! Food to eat! And he could not begin to even do One Thing.

His therapist didn’t seem surprised when he told her that. She only said to give himself time, and start little by little. Think about whatever he wants to do in a series of steps, and only think of the next when the one before that was done. So that what he was doing. He had hired a housekeeper, too. And on top of that, the Flower Child had been extremely kind ever since their confrontation at the Habitat. He knew he didn’t really deserve it, but he was grateful nonetheless. They would come once or twice a week, whenever time allowed, and help him garden-- in those visits Boris got to know all about the online college courses they were taking (wow! Technology had come so far! They said “web-pages” took only five minutes to load now), and the people they saw during their deliveries! It truly was exciting, especially considering he really didn’t go out all that much for the first couple weeks after everything. 

Slowly but surely, though, he started going grocery shopping. And paying his overdue bills. And helping the housekeeper with the gigantic house he lived in. And going for walks every other day. The bad thoughts were still there, but it was something! He didn’t feel exactly _ happy _\-- he had hurt far too many people to allow himself that just yet-- but he was… content. He was okay. In control of himself. That was good enough for now.

Surprisingly, most of the townsfolk weren’t even antagonistic toward him (which made sense, considering none of them Really Knew what he was planning to do). On the contrary, they seemed… concerned, whenever they saw him. It was always _ “Doctor Habit, how have you been doing? What have you been up to?” _ And not _ “Doctor Habit, you suck and I never! Want to see you again! you dolt _”, as he had expected. Which was good! He was very glad about that. A bit guilty, too, because he felt he didn’t deserve it, but mostly glad. He had even approached Wallus to apologize for being a huge butt. And seen Tiff perform live, where he realized just how much better she sounded when she was singing songs that she actually loved. She seemed so happy, too!

Maybe things never were so bad back in town, after all. The Flower Child was right. They always had been. He just hoped that maybe someday he could bring smiles to those faces just like they had done. He felt a bit silly having someone like 15 years younger than him as a role model, like he really had not grown up at all, but he was strangely okay with that.

The only person he hadn’t seen around town was Kamal. Flower Kid hadn’t seen him after he unlocked the tunnel for them, either. Boris would not have been surprised if his former assistant had just hopped on a train and gotten out of there. After the way he treated him, he’d want to get as far away as possible from himself, too. Honestly, he was happy that he could get his life going again! … and a bit sad, too, that they didn’t have the chance to talk before that, but that was an entirely selfish thought. 

It’s okay to be selfish sometimes, his therapist had said. Boris held this Very Wise Woman in high regard, so it made him feel a little bit bad that he couldn’t bring himself to believe her entirely. He had been nothing but selfish this whole time, and look where that got him. 

And so, days kept going on, and on, and on. It was uneventful. A bit boring, even, but Boris was okay with boring. He was just catching up on all the things he forgot he liked doing after he turned... uh, well. Evil. Cartoonishly so, he now realized. How embarrassing.

Every now and then, he’d even glance at his old desktop computer. Kamal had taught him how to use the “e-mail” back when they were accepting applications for the Habitat, but he pretty much forgot immediately because Kamal handled all the technologie stuffs and such. But maybe… hm.

Ah, he really was never going to change.

It was worth a shot. Perhaps he could figure out the whole “internets” thing. How hard could it be? He had a PhD! He was a doctor! (technically not anymore, but still). He’d just send Kamal a short e-mail to apologize and tell him he hoped he was doing well. Nothing more. Wouldn’t even expect a reply.

He turned the computer on.

… And after sitting there for two hours and forty seven minutes, Boris finally gave up. He really did not get technology, and was feeling extremely scrambled again. The little arrow wouldn’t move! He assumed the arrows on the keyboard would help, but-- uh. Kamal had said something about needing a rat to move it, had he not? He did not have a rat. Did he? Maybe outside. But it was too dark to go look. Eugh. One would think he would know how to operate a computer, considering he had an entire website that he owned, but honestly, Kamal had managed most of that. He had just composed the text and drawn the pictures. 

God, he was old. He wasn't even 40, and he felt ancient staring at that screen. Everything was so confusing-- it made him want to cry out of sheer frustration, but instead, he got up and walked to his spot right as he felt the tears bubble up. No time for a mid-life crisis, Boris. An open window, right by the door to the backyard he was so lovingly working on. He felt the light breeze on his face, and looked at the row of flowers that sat on pots on the windowsill. There was the most special of all: Lily, a peace offering. He picked him up, and caressed each petal carefully.

“Well. I suppose we’re never going to know what Kamal is up to, hm? I just hope he is O-kay.” 

His friend seemed pretty sad for him. Boris was about to open his mouth to say that it was okay! He couldn’t expect to be forgiven by everybody. He should’ve been grateful that most the people in town were willing to give an old dunce like him the time of day!

But the words wouldn't come out. 

Being selfish is okay sometimes… no. Not in this case. There was a reason the computer didn’t want to cooperate. Maybe it had been a bad idea. It seemed like one in retrospective, now that he felt weary and defeated from thinking so hard for so long. If anyone had a right to hate him, it was Kamal; and nothing was going to change that. As bad as it felt to think about, it was for a reason that Boris had not heard from him. 

He only wished things could have gone differently. Perhaps in another life they did. 

He really, really hoped that Kamal was doing well.

Time for another walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapters so far! after this things are actually going to Start Happening, promise  
;-)


	3. Maybe Living in a Wall is a Good Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall. the illustrations in this one are extremely quick. imma be real w you: i was lazy and didnt wanna spend more than half an hour on them. but i ended up w a few interesting effects w the ink going more abstract. ANYWAY. 
> 
> this one is longer. just a tiny bit.

“Kamal. Buddy.”

“Buh-- wuh?!”

“Are you okay? You haven’t moved in like… five hours.”

Kamal looked up to the figure towering over the couch, only to see Wallus’ gigantic, worried bug eyes staring him down. 

God. Dude was his friend, but that didn’t make his stare any less creepy.

“Yeah. Yea, I’m fine.” He said. You know, like a liar. “What time is it?”

“9pm. I was asking just to be polite. You look like garbage, and I know a lot about garbage.”

“Oh. Well. Yeah. I do feel like a hot garbage fire. Thanks, pal.”

Wallus just grimaced, which honestly, felt worse than an actual response. Did he really look that bad? … … … Probably. Yeah, definitely. But more importantly, had it really been that long? Time flies when your thoughts are an anxious mess, doesn’t it?

Before Kamal could backtrack and apologize, though, Wallus sat next to him on the couch. He really didn’t look upset at him, just… worried. Ugh. He felt pitied, and he didn’t like it. 

“Kamal, friend, you know I don’t like to get all up in other people’s business. But…” There it was. He was going to kick him out. Even though it was extremely incongruent with Wallus’ expression, that was the first thing Kamal’s anxious little mind went to. “... I’m concerned. What did Habit say to you up there, that affected you so badly?”

… Huh?

“Uh.” Kamal finally turned to him, with a look that made it obvious he was. Extremely confused by that question. “He… made fun of my teeth? You know that, though?”

Wallus shot him the same look right back.

“No. I mean, after our talk in the boiler room.”

“What. What talk in the boiler room.”

Okay, now it was starting to get weird.

“What do you mean, _ what talk _? You’ve been inside too long, Kamal. It’s messing with your memory.”

“No, dude, I legitimately have _ no _ idea what you’re talking about. I never left the roof.”

“Uh, I gave you my ID for you to unlock the tunnel to Habit’s office with your keycard? So you could go confront Habit? So you could stop him from… whatever he was planning to do with us?”

…

Oh. OH. _ Oh, damn _ . What the hell. Did the florist never tell him that they _ weren’t _ Kamal?

… Of course they didn’t. They’re _ mute _ , and the hole must have been way too dark for Wallus to see them. Great. Great! _ That _ was what the picture was for. Now he was getting credit for something he hadn’t done, and Wallus must have thought Habit had been a monster to him and that’s why he was pretty much hiding away, not because he was too much of a coward to like. Go and talk things out. 

Only one letter could encompass how Kamal felt right at that moment: H. 

He slowly averted his eyes, turning to look straight ahead at the tv in front of them. Then, he spoke, as quietly as he could.

“... I sent the kid to do that.”

“Uh. Which one? There were a lot of kids there. All jerks.”

“... _ That _ kid. The florist’s kid. The one that was going around just fixing everybody’s problems. The one that literally nobody would shut up about.”

“I lived in a wall, Kamal. Gossip didn’t exactly reach me. I didn’t even _ know _ they were in the Habitat.”

“Well. They were. They were the one who took your ID and went confront Dr. Habit. Because I asked them to.”

“... So you didn’t--”

“No. I didn’t.”

“... Oh.”

“_ Yeah. _”

“But you haven’t… _ spoken _ with Habit?”

“Nnnope!”

A pause. It was obvious Wallus was quickly catching on and scrambling for what to say.

“W-well! That’s a surprise-- that the florist’s kid was there, I mean. Oh, man. I never took them for someone that would even _ think _ about going to the Habitat! I’ve seen them all around town making deliveries like nothing happened, so I assumed-- uh--”

Ouch. 

Wallus didn’t seem to realize that he was making it worse.

“--And you know, Habit approached me at the grocery store the other day. Actually apologized, can you believe that? Dunno what the kid said to him, but he’s like-- back to normal. Well, he was never that normal to begin with, but he’s really subdued. Things make more sense now, actually. When that happened, I was trying to figure out what got you so down if everything had gone so well-- _ I mean _\--”

“Wallus. You’re not helpin’.” Kamal gritted his teeth, trying not to sound _ too _ hurt. “You can stop talking now.”

“Right. Sorry. Gosh, Habit's spooky PSAs make a lot more sense now.”

Cue awkward silence. 

After what felt like an eternity, Kamal spoke up.

“I haven’t talked with the kid, either. I just kind of… hid. I felt-- I _ feel _ like a schmuck. I sent them to confront a potentially dangerous stranger who had it out for them.”

“I_ mean _\--”

“Don’t say anything, I already feel bad enough as it is.”

“Okay, okay. Gotcha.” Wallus made a brief pause, and then finally looked back at Kamal. “Look, you’re welcome to stay for as long as you want. But-- sulking is not going to solve anything. You can’t avoid them forever.”

“Zip it, Wallus. You lived in a hole for months.”

“Fair enough.”

Kamal immediately felt a little bit guilty for snapping, but Wallus didn’t seem to take it badly. He finally stood up, towering over his tiny pathetic figure once more.

“Well, gotta bounce. I have a night shift today.” 

“Sucks to be you.”

“No, buddy, I’m pretty sure it sucks more to be you right about now.”

Kamal frowned. “Gee, thanks dog. You’ve been so encouraging today!”

“Always glad to help. But really, at least take a walk. There’s a new 24 hour convenience store in town-- it was about time! I was so sick of literally _ everything _ closing at 6pm. They got so much junk. You should go get something to eat.”

“I already ate.”

“Toothpaste doesn’t count.”

“I don’t eat-- ugh. Whatever.”

Wallus just laughed, which was rare. Kamal had been told before he was fun to tease, by several people, at several points in his life. Getting picked on by the dude that used to live in a wall was a new low point in his life, though. 

But at least it was distracting him. He gave his friend a small, but sincere smile.

“Thanks for listening, bud. I’ve been losing my marbles over here.”

“It’s really nothing. I’ll see you in the morning!”

And with that exchange, Kamal proceeded to lay back down on the couch. No way in hell he was going outside so late.

… … … 

Well… … 

It was a small town. Things pretty much died after sundown, so generally, that was the only time Kamal took walks since… yeah (did you think he would just rot inside 24/7? No sir. The evening was the perfect time for some exercise). Never _ this _ late, though, because of his leftover big city paranoia of getting mugged. But literally nothing ever happened in that god forsaken town. And it was, uh-- Kamal looked at the date on the clock that sat on the coffee table-- Tuesday! No one in their right mind was out at 10pm on a Tuesday. Any old drunk would for sure be holed up in the local bar, not roaming the streets. 

Maybe some fresh air would be good for him. He could physically feel his brain cells dying one after the other each minute he stayed under the blankets. For someone that had always put so much effort in keeping himself healthy, Kamal sure was disappointing himself here. 

Fine. He’d go. The most exposure to the outside he had gotten in the last week was by opening a window. Pathetic. 

Without even bothering to change out of his pajamas or brushing his hair (he’d just get it into a ponytail so it didn’t look _ that _ bad), Kamal threw on an old hoodie and his sneakers. Just a ten minute walk. Maybe he’d try to find that convenience store. He could do with some junk food.

…

The ten minute walk turned into a twenty minute walk. And then a thirty minute walk. And before he knew it, Kamal had been roaming the streets for one whole hour.

The night was just really nice. He didn’t have much trouble finding his way over to the tacky neon lights illuminating the “24 hours” sign, so now he was having a lovely stroll, on a lovely night, with lovely ice cream. _ God _ he needed this. 

Before he knew it, he had reached the local park. _ Did he really walk that much? _What time was it, even?

… Well, no matter. Since no one was looking at him, anyway, he went ahead and sat on a swing that was barely big enough for him to fit. He’d only finish his snack and go “home”. At least he felt good enough to actually take a shower when he got there. 

The only thing he could hear in the dead of the night were the crickets singing and his own thoughts. 

Wallus was right. He couldn’t just hide there forever. He had to make a decision: either go talk with Habit and little flower buddy, or just… go. He couldn’t keep just-- going on like this. It was way too miserable.

Maybe he had punished himself enough already. He could just leave town, nothing was stopping him. He’d feel awful, sure, but. In the city, he’d just be a nobody again. Another chance-- maybe in the long run it’d be for best. He didn’t know if he could deal with… just… ugh. 

Ugh!! He was following the same train of thought as in the Habitat. Stop looking for the easiest way out, stupid! You have to own up to things! Take responsibility! Aren’t you an adult?

_ Click. Click. Click. Click._

…

Kamal jumped up from the swing, dropping his cone in the process. But more importantly, what the hell was that sound?

_ Click. Click. Click. Click. _

The clicking of hard soles on the pavement. Oh, god. He was going to get mugged. What did he have? Like $5? Was he going to get stabbed over $5? 

Fitting way to go, dumbass. _ No. Okay. Think _. He didn’t know where this person was coming from. The trees covered the view of the sidewalk around the park, which was surprisingly big. So if he tried to just leave, he might bump into whoever was walking around waiting to stab him or shoot him or knock his teeth out. 

_ Click. Click. Click. Click. _

Getting louder. And louder. And louder.

Frantically looking around and trying to make out where the sound was coming from didn’t seem to be working. Time to act, Kamal. Did he have anything sharp? He felt into his hoodie’s pocket, and found… a hairpin. That would have to do.

The sound was now barely a few meters away from him, and Kamal could finally tell that it was coming from his right. Okay! Okay.

Just as he was going to make a run for it (to his left, of course. He wanted to get the hell out of there), the clicking came to a stop. And then, he caught a glimpse of a big, freakishly tall figure coming from behind the trees. One so familiar that he couldn’t help himself from immediately turning his head toward it, and just. Stare.

He could barely make out a face in the darkness, but he immediately knew who it was. It was as if his eyes were glowing. And when the mouth opened, it almost looked like there was light coming from within each individual tooth, minus a tiny, pure black hole right in the middle of the perfectly white row.

It was the same figure that had almost scared him to death countless times. A figure that had a terrible habit (ha ha.) of sitting in the dark without even realizing. Kamal would find him like that over, and over, and over, and have a heart attack each time.

He was about to have a heart attack right about now.

As Dr. Habit inched closer, the lampposts in the park finally illuminated his face, revealing an expression of pure bewilderment that punched Kamal’s tiny little heart right in the gut. Yes his heart’s gut. Shut up. That’s how bad it felt.

He was frozen. He didn’t move or speak, just staring into his former boss’ eyes as, with the most pitiful voice he had ever heard from him, Habit uttered:

“… Kamal?”

Scratch what he had said before. This was a terrible, terrible night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked the 0 to 100


	4. Flower Kid Strangles Kamal ASMR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to experiment with writing from fk's pov. and also i figured out how i want to end this, so there'll only be two more chapters left that will be posted at the same time!!! yay

Some would say that the florist’s kid had the patience of a saint. Especially after spending two weeks at the Habitat with a bunch of weirdos. 

They had to brush a guy’s teeth, put their hand inside a toilet, caught an owl as they slowly passed out from inhaling laughing gas, took a picture of a butt, carried around smelly fish, and lost not one, not two, but _ nineteen _ teeth (do you know how _ expensive _ that dental work was? luckily, Dr. Habit covered the amount as thanks for punching him out of his manic episode and like, not pressing charges). 

Yet, it had been about the most fun they’d ever had. Minus the whole fearing for their life thing and… yeah. 

Anyway!! point being: they weren’t quick or easy to anger. Like, at all. Which brings us to: 

Kamal really was breaking a world record, here. They were_ furious _.

How could they not be, after witnessing Dr. Habit reduced to a sobbing mess (which wasn’t rare, but still! it was so difficult to watch!) because, _ apparently _, his ex assistant (even though Habit almost talked about him like he was an ex boyfriend, they thought) wasn’t dead or skipped town like both of them has assumed. 

Honestly, they had no idea if they were happy tears because Kamal was okay, or sad tears because he had hauled ass right out of the park as soon as he saw Habit’s face. They assumed it was a bit of both, seeing how every _ ‘I’m so glad he’s okay!’ _ devolved into a pitiful mess of _ ‘I’m knew eet, he h8s me. He has every rite to h8 me!!!! :’ - )’ _

And that’s not even getting started on their own worry over Kamal! The florist had been _ so _ ready to go tell him that everything worked out, and to like, actually hang out without any weird stuff happening. They thought he’d be happy to hear Habit was better-- even when he was swearing his ex-boss(friend) was bad news, they could feel a certain fondness in Kamal’s voice. But then he just vanished after wishing them good luck.

Turns out he was just hiding! In town! The idiot! God! 

No idea where, though. So naturally, they went around town asking if anyone saw Kamal around. The search was pretty short. Perks of living on a town with a population of like, 20 people.

As per five different people’s suggestion, they ambushed Wallus at the local Entire Foods grocery store. As soon as they saw the mortified look in the ex-janitor’s eyes, they knew they had hit jackpot.

“Yep! Yeah. Kamal is at my place.” He immediately said, as the flower kid waved the picture they had taken of Kamal to Wallus’ face, “I’m assuming that’s what you want to know. You look angry.”

Damn right it was. That was easy. They huffed, and as they turned around to leave, Wallus called out to them.

“Hey, kid-- by the way,” He smiled, as they turned to face him once more. “thanks for what you did. It was really brave of you. Also, the door to my apartment is usually unlocked. Please don’t be too harsh on Kamal. He spooks easily.”

They gave an understanding but not any less angry thumbs up. Then they smiled warmly at him and waved goodbye.

* * *

The famous flower kid pulled over in front of Wallus’ apartment building. Wow, it was _ old _. The front door’s lock wasn’t even there anymore. Likely stolen. 

They checked out the names on the doorbell plates. Wallus Breadbear. 1-B. Without even bothering to ring, they marched up the stairs. And, without even knocking, they burst into the apartment. Loudly.

“JESUS CHRIST! God, Wallus, don’t scare me like that! I’m trying to make a phone c--” As Kamal turned around, looking like hot garbage (it was 4pm and he still had his pajamas on. C’mon), his look turned from one of surprise, to one of horror, to one of oh-god-im-gonna-die-here. “Oh my god. OH MY GOD... Uh. Hey. Haha. ‘Sup flower stuff.” 

His attempt to seem casual didn’t faze the aforementioned flower stuff, who just marched right up to Kamal’s face, signing furiously. 

_“Are you serious. You disappear for over a month and that’s what you have to say for yourself? Do you know how worried I’ve been?! And how worried Dr. Habit has been! You made him cry! Like, several times!! What makes you think you can disappear like that?”_

Of course, Kamal did not understand a _ word _ of what they were trying to communicate. He looked like he was going to start tearing up any minute. Ugh, why did no one in that god forsaken town bother to learn sign language?

They huffed and walked over to plop down onto the nearest couch.

“U-uh… I’m sorry, fk. I don’t know ASL. It’s on my to do list.” Yeah, right. “Did Wallus tell you I was here?”

A nod.

“I had it coming, didn't I?”

Another, angrier nod.

“Look, kid, I’m sorry--”

They squinted, and Kamal winced. 

“I really am sorry! After the Habitat, I was so overwhelmed, I-- uh, I was totally eavesdropping on you and Habit. I was so embarrassed that you were able to snap him out of it and I. Couldn’t. Ya know? So I hid here, and I know it was a stupid thing to do, but the more time passed the more I felt like you would be mad salty at me for hiding in the first place, and I was right, like, I’ve never seen that expression on your face and honestly it’s kinda uh. Scary.”

Even though they could see where Kamal was coming from, they were still really angry at him for dropping off the face of Earth like that. But...the florist’s expression finally gave in. Wow, they really were a huge softie. 

A sigh. Well… what’s done is done. They had never been one to hold grudges.

Kamal finally approached and sat down next to them, avoiding their eyes however he could.

“I know it was unfair of me. I’m sorry.” 

He seemed pretty taken aback when they took one of his hands in both of their own and nodded, smiling a bit and shrugging. They really couldn’t stay mad at Kamal when he acted like such an anxious mess. Always one quick to forgive and forget, huh?

He and Habit still had to make peace with each other, though. 

“I was… about to call Habit.” He continued, as if on cue. “Well. I’ve been standing by the phone for like four hours, but I was finally dialing when you burst in. Kinda.” 

They shook their head in disbelief. Kamal frowned.

“What? I thought you would want me to talk to him--”

_ “Yes” _ , they nodded and then signed, “ _ but a phone call won’t do.” _

_ “ _I’m telling you, I don’t know ASL--”

Without letting go of Kamal’s hand, they got up. 

“Uh.”

And started heading for the door. 

“UH.”

Kamal continued his stream of weird confused noises all the way to flower kid’s car, only interrupting himself when they both got inside.

“Holy moly, wait, You can _ drive _ ?” Even though he didn’t get a reply, Kamal kept going. “I never got my license. I thought you were like-- I actually never wondered how old you are. GOD, I’m _ old _.”

They reached over to open the glove compartment, and handed him the college brochures that they had been collecting. 

“Oh. Wow. College.” He deflated in his seat, absentmindedly skimming through the text. “I hated college. What are you going to-- oh. Nevermind. Big red circle. Of course you want to be a therapist. Golly, that’s a lot of hearts. Huh. Reminds me of… of… uuugh.”

Flower kid started the car.

“God, I’m old.” Kamal repeated, defeated.

* * *

The drive wasn’t very long. Even though Dr. Habit lived pretty much in the outskirts of town, the town itself was so small that that wasn’t really a considerable distance. This seemed to stress Kamal out. A lot. 

“I don’t know what I’ll say,” He wheezed, tapping his fingers anxiously on the dashboard. “I don’t even HAVE enough time to like, at least be done freaking out, much less come up with an apology!! What am I supposed to tell him? _ Yo, I’m sorry I pretty much ran away from you the other day, and also I’m sorry I just freakin’ disappeared. Poof. Gone _. Did Habit tell you what I said when I saw him at the park?”

They shook their head, eyes on the road.

“I said, _ ‘Sup, doc _ . And then ran. What is _ wrong _ with me? How am I supposed to live _ that _ down? I’m doomed.”

A shrug. Honestly, they couldn’t help snorting at that. Kamal was just digging himself into a deeper hole here, and he was being so honest about it it was honestly kind of endearing.

“Hey! Don’t laugh! … Well honestly I’d laugh too if I wasn’t so mortified. Probably. Do you think he’ll be able to laugh about that? No, what am I saying, of course he won’t. He’s the most sensitive person I’ve ever met. He probably didn’t take it well.”

_ You’re both the most sensitive people I’ve ever met _ , flower kid noted in their head. _ But yeah, he did not take it well. _

“... Oh. OH. GOD DAMN IT.” Kamal suddenly exclaimed, just as Habit’s home became visible in the not so distance. Flower kid almost hit their head on the roof of the car from how hard they jumped, and shoot him an indignant look. “Sorry. I just realized never changed out of my freakin’ pajamas.”

Well. Too late for that. Even though Kamal did look like a hot mess, they were already pretty much there. 

“Oh, god. Do you have a brush?” After quickly tapping the glove compartment, they could see Kamal tearing up from the corner of their eye as he grabbed the emergency brush they kept there and tried to untangle his hair. “Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.”

As their companion suffered loudly, flower kid finally parked the car in front of Habit’s house. Kamal looked terrified, but after exchanging a few looks and likely realizing they would _ not _ let him leave without talking to Boris, he finally sighed and exited the car. 

Standing at the front door Kamal sheepishly rang the bell and immediately looked back at them for reassurance. 

From the car, they gave him a thumbs up and an encouraging smile.

And they felt a weight lift from their shoulders as, not even a minute later, the door slowly creaked open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it reads weird! i kinda struggled writing from their perspective and trying to leave most things abt them ambiguous.  
also, thank y'all so much for the kind comments!!! they give me so much motivation to keep writing! u r the best


	5. Who Would've Thought Communication Is Good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. my other projects grabbed me by the throat and stole my lunch money.
> 
> but i was dead set on finishing this little thing!
> 
> so here it is!! there's only the epilogue left, and i will post that tomorrow morning.
> 
> thank you for all your comments, also, and im sorry i never got around to reply to them!!! 
> 
> enjoy :-)
> 
> ps: i decided to not do illustrations because i was never going to post this otherwise. but im finishing to work on a little thing that will have a Ton of drawings.

At first, he thought he had imagined the sound of the doorbell, back in the garden, elbow deep in mulch and dirt. But when a minute later it rang again a single time, he knew for sure there was someone at the door. 

Boris wasn’t expecting visits so late into the day. Well, the truth is that he wasn’t ever expecting visits. Flower kid was the only one that regularly went to see him, and they always phoned before they dropped by to make sure he was available.

He looked down at his soiled clothes and muddy shoes, and immediately came to the obvious conclusion that he was in no state to receive any guests, but he couldn’t just _ ignore _ the doorbell. Ugh… 

Leaving a trail of dirty steps on the spotless tile floor of the kitchen, Boris absent mindedly took off his gardening gloves and left them somewhere he probably wouldn’t remember in a few minutes, making it the 10th time he’d lost them that week. Then, he dragged his feet to the front door. The loud, creaky sound as he slowly opened it always made him cringe a little. _ I should really get that fixed, _ he started telling himself, as his weary eyes drifted to the person standing on his doorstep, but he couldn't even complete his train of thought when he realized who it was. 

"Hey, doc." Kamal said, hands in his pockets, body leaning back, and a tiny, anxious smile on his face.

… Oh, there goes his heart into his stomach.

* * *

Huddled on opposite sides of the long couch, the only thing that could be heard was Kamal quietly sipping on the cup of hot tea Boris had poured for him, while his own sat forgotten on the coffee table.

The living room was already big, but the silence made it feel enormous. 

Kamal cleared his throat, clearly forcing himself to meet Boris' eyes-- which he instinctively averted, even though he was fully aware that his ex-assistant usually had a very difficult time with eye contact, and even though he had come all the way here to talk to him. Way to go, you silly idiot.

Why was he even there? After the park, Boris thought it was obvious enough that Kamal didn’t want to have anything to do with him. _ Maybe he came over to let you have it in person _, his brain told him, but he immediately shook off that thought. Kamal wasn’t the confrontational type. At all. He knew as much. He had seen proof of it again and again during the years they had worked together, and even if he hadn't, all he did in the Habitat was stare into his office from the roof.

But then, why?

For the first time in ten minutes the sound of sipping tea was replaced for a dejected sigh that Kamal didn't try to hide, and exactly as it left his lips, Boris decided he had to say something before he realized going all the way to his house had been a stupid waste of time and that he was irredeemable and worthless. 

Unfortunately, the moment he opened his mouth, Kamal also perked up to talk. 

"I--"

"Uh--"

"Oh, um, I-- you--"

"You first--"

"No, no, you first-- you're--” Realizing he finally managed to get in at least part of a sentence, Boris decided to continue with it. “Uh, you came here to talk to me? I'm sorr-ey. I know my house is not exactly walking distance.”

"No, uh, it's chill. Really. Flower kid gave me a ride."

"Oh?" He said, eloquently, and then paused for a moment. "... I don’t mean to b rood, but why are you wearing pajamas?"

“Flower kid.”

“Oh.” He repeated, even though that didn't explain much. 

“Yeah.” Kamal pulled his legs onto the couch, hugging his knees. “They were pretty pissed at me.”

“I thought you left town.”

“I thought about doing that. I did. Really hard.” Seeing how ashamed he looked saying that, Boris almost wanted to reach out, and immediately after considering it for a brief moment, he begged for the Earth to swallow him.

“... I understand. Starteing from scratch." He nodded to himself, trying to concentrate on what he was saying instead of on Kamal. "That’s why I came here, you know?”

“Huh?” Kamal looked up. “I thought this was your hometown.”

“Well, not exactly.” Boris finally picked up the cup of tea from the coffee table, now lukewarm, and stared into it. “We lived here for most of my childhood after emigrating. But my parents decided that the city would be better. They didn’t like the small town life. It was bad for business.”

His parents. He had talked to Kamal about his parents before, sometimes in normal conversation, but more often than not, it was in his hypomania-fuelled oversharing bouts. He could never remember exactly what he had said or how much when that happened. Honestly, that made pretty much everything that happened at The Habitat fuzzy, but he was pretty sure that by now everyone that had been there was aware of what kind of people his mother and father were. Which was… extremely embarrassing, looking back on it. 

Seeing his (ex)friend was clearly struggling to find something to say, Boris kept talking. 

“Any-way, I moved back here after college… for a fresh start.” 

“... And to get away from them?” 

“... Mmmyep. I always liked this town, two.”

Kamal hugged his knees tighter.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, and sounded like he meant it.

Boris set the cup on the table, still totally full, and finally looked at Kamal-- really looked at him-- for the first time since they’d sat down. 

He felt so small. 

He was no stranger to guilt and shame, but having one of the people he let down the most right there, sitting in his living room, felt like breathing underwater. It was such a stark contrast from The Habitat, where he was atop of the world-- he was a savior, in control of everything and everyone. Standing high and mighty, he could do whatever he wanted to do, whatever he felt he needed to do. A god overseeing his own little world from the skies. Coming back to and going back to being just a normal, very broken and messy man had been (and still was being) one of the hardest experiences of his life. 

Seeing Kamal made him feel it tenfold.

But! The more time passed, the more positive he saw coming out of it. One big thing: he was finally realizing that he could, as normal people do, make amends. Apologize. Grow. Even if he was not forgiven, even if it wasn’t the closure he was expecting, it was the least he could do. 

Seeing Kamal made him realize that it was time.

Boris laced his fingers together on his lap, forcing himself not to avert his eyes from his guest as he spoke. 

“... Me, too. I’m sorry, Kamal. For everything. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you.”

Kamal turned his head so fast toward him, eyes wide, that it looked like he’d gotten whiplash. It was a bit amusing and over-the-top, but mostly concerning. _ Was I really that bad to him? _

“Oh. Hey, it’s okay. It’s no biggie.” Though, from how his voice shook in the last syllable, Boris could figure out that it was, in fact, a biggie. He didn't even know if he actually meant it or if it was just force of habit to agree with him so he wouldn’t get upset. The thought almost made him grimace, but he stopped himself. “I know you weren’t really… uh… y’know.”

“In my right mind?” He offered.

“Yeah oh my god. It was pretty terrifying. I didn’t know what to do.” Kamal sighed, stretching out his legs once again. “I shoulda tried harder. To help, I mean. I knew I should, but I didn’t know how.”

God, hearing Kamal say it like that was nothing short of mortifying. The last thing he wanted to be was terrifying. He’d never wanted to embrace that… _ part _of him. He wanted to be approachable. Fun, goofy. A friend.

He couldn’t even do that right. 

“I’m sorry.” Boris said, once again. “You always helped so much. You were always there. It was my own fault that I pushed you away after all you did for me.”

“Yep, uh… you were pretty mean.” Kamal dropped his gaze. He looked like he was about to start tearing up, which made Boris’ heart tighten. “I was really angry for a while. But like, I still wish I did more. I think as much as I was angry at you, I was angry at myself too for taking it. I went with everything you said, everything you did. I never tried to stop you, even though I realized it was all a very bad idea even before The Habitat officially opened-- I didn’t know how to deal with it! But I couldn’t walk away either, y’know? Like, what kinda friend would that have made me? But, but! not putting any limits and going along with everything even as I saw you falling apart didn’t make me any better a friend! So it was like! Ugh. I think in the end I was looking for an excuse to quit, probably. It did hurt but it was also a relief. I have no idea where I was going with this.”

“N-no, it’s okay.” Wow. He was no stranger to Kamal’s anxious rants, but... never quite like this. He really couldn’t blame him, though. “I put you through a lot, didn’t I?”

“... Yeah.” 

“Carrying me around wasn’t your responsibility. You did a lot more than you should haf, even though you didn’t owe me anything. I took advantage of that.”

“Well, kinda, yeah. But. One thing was my responsibility, and I didn’t even handle it. It should have been me up in your office.” Kamal finally spat out what seemed to be bothering him since the start of the conversation. Somehow, Boris wasn’t surprised at all. Of course Kamal felt responsible-- he had been dragging him around so long...

“I sea.” He leaned back on the couch, avoiding looking at whatever expression Kamal was making. It was probably a really disappointing reaction to a statement that big. “I don’t knoe. I think it was the right call to let the flower child handle it.” 

“But _ I _ helped you build the place. I helped you sign people up. I kept helping you even though you _ clearly _ were in a downward spiral. Shouldn’t your assistant, the person partly responsible for that mess, be the one to like, fix things? You know, ME?”

“You did help fix things, though. You open’d the door, didn’t you?” 

“Yea, but, but--!” 

Before he could go into yet another self-deprecating rant, Boris looked back at him, eyes weary and tired, but an apologetic smile on his face. 

“Kamal.” He wasn’t usually firm in his speech, always slow and soft, so that was enough to stop Kamal on his tracks, his big eyes staring right into him. “You helped. It’s because of you that the flower child came to see me, even after all I did. You believed I wouldn’t hurt them.”

“Well you kinda extracted a bunch of teeth from them so I was wrong about that too, I guess!” 

… Owie. 

“My point is-- even though it wasn't your responsibility, you did you’re part and they did they’reirs. What I did was my responsibility, and I was lucky enough to have you both looking out for me. And you know, they remind me alot of myself when I was younger. That’s…” Not able to bear the shame, Boris averted his eyes once again. “... It’s what made me want to hurt them so bad and what in the end made it possible for them to stop me. They had one of my treasures, and they still wanted to make me smile after all I did two them. Too all of you. I was like that to my parents... I wanted to make them smile, but they wouldn’t let me. They just turned meaner and meaner. What they did made me understand a lot of things, one of them being... I… don’t want to be like that. I lost sight of what realy was important to me.”

He paused, and kinda glanced at Kamal sheepishly, who looked thoroughly surprised that he could recognize all of that in the way he did. 

“... Also I paid for their dental work.”

At that, Kamal laughed. He laughed the breathy, dorky laugh that Boris had missed so much. The sound was short and confused, but it squeezed his stomach and shook it until he felt dizzy. 

After, all that was left was a sympathetic expression that Boris also knew well enough. It wasn’t pity. No.

“Do you really think I did a good thing?” Kamal asked, quietly.

He really cared, even after everything. About him. About what he thought. It was… so confusing. The two people that had the most reasons to hate him, they both cared. It filled him with both immense joy and immense guilt. 

“Yes. And I thank you for it. I really do.” He tried his best for a reassuring tone, like Kamal had done for him so many times before. His ex-assistant returned it with a tiny smile that told him he wasn’t entirely convinced, but that he’d let it go. 

Boris guessed that was as close as they were going to get to that for now. 

Surprisingly, Kamal wasn’t done talking.

“Y’know what’s funny? I wanted to hate you.” Like he had read his mind, the word ‘hate’ struggled to make its way out of Kamal’s throat and when it came out, he grimaced. “But. Even when I was on the roof, super pissed and standing up high and thinking about not existing-- you were right on the money, by the way, as cruel as it was--” 

“_ I _ said that??”

“Yup.”

“Sorry."

“It’s fine. Even then, I still cared what you thought of me, isn't that dumb? Well I mean. I care about what everyone thinks. I’m just Like That. But of all people, I shouldn’t have cared about what _ you _ thought after what you said to me. But I did. Like, I literally went into hiding! I’m getting off track here--” He shifted, unsure how to continue. “Anyway. I thought about leaving The Habitat and going home but I was sure something bad would happen if I did. To everyone. And to you.”

Boris opened his mouth to confess that he had been stalling the whole time, that he didn’t really want to hurt anyone, that he only went through with it in the end because he was desperate to keep the flower delivery kid out of his office, but at that point, he had no idea how much of that was true or not anymore. Well, it _ was _ true, he just wasn’t sure for how long it had been.

So instead, after a few failed attempts to start a sentence, he settled for a rapid fire string of everything he was thinking:

“Thanks for getting everyone out in time. And for talking to the kid. And for opening the tunnel. And-- and-- for all the years you’ve worked for me, and for coming over today, and--” 

“Okay--! Okay, I get it, doc. It’s fine, for real.”

Boris gave Kamal a tiny, embarrassed smile at that.

“I’m… technically not a docter anymore.” 

“Oh?” Kamal furrowed his brows, like he didn’t quite understand what Boris was saying.

“I got my dental lice-ens revoked.” 

“Oh. Well.” He hesitated for a moment, and then seemed to notice that that was probably not an appropriate reaction. “I mean. Sorry, but that’s good.” 

At last, a response that made sense. Everyone he told this to acted apologetic and told him how sorry they were that he would have to stop practicing dentistry, but honestly, Boris wasn’t sorry at all. Kamal had been up close for everything, he supposed. He knew better than anyone that he was in no position to put a drill near anyone’s mouth.

“Don’t be! Yes, It is good. I’m very relieved.” 

Without noticing, the distance separating them had become much shorter as they relaxed into the conversation. The tension was still there, sure, but at least they weren’t pressed to each end of the couch like at the beginning.

Boris noted that Kamal was visibly more calm. It was nice, seeing that he… didn’t look scared anymore.

So they talked. They talked about what Kamal had been doing lately (or what he had not been doing, rather), they talked about the hobbies Boris had picked up, about what they would do from now on, about how hard it was to adapt back to normal life after the mess that The Habitat was. For both of them. 

Boris dabbled a little, way too casually for the topic, on how difficult it was to find a purpose and a meaning to his day to day now that what he thought would be the prime of his life was over, and how coming to terms with the fact that it had been no prime at all in the first place still was… challenging. When he realized how concerned Kamal’s look had become at that, he quickly backtracked, realizing that once again, he was doing one of those… ah, what had the kid called it? Tee em ey.

“Not to worry!” He started, already a lot more chipper than he had started this conversation. “I am working it out with my therapist.”

Kamal did a double take.

“You have a therapist???? Oh, man.” He deflated into his seat, and for a moment, Boris started frantically thinking back on what was it that he said wrong, until Kamal spoke again. “I really need to get in on that.”

Oh.

For some reason, it hadn’t occurred to him that Kamal would be the kind of person to need a therapist. Well. The idea that therapists were a necessary thing hadn’t really crossed his mind at all until it was suggested to him, and he immediately discarded it as dumb and unnecessary first thing (thank his parents for that line of thinking!). Then, he was terrified of it. And then after doing it for a while, he couldn’t imagine a life without it. 

“It’s really helpful. <:-)” How’d he do that out loud? He’s talented! “I was scared of starting, but Flower Child helped alot.”

_ Who else would care so much? _The pesky little voice inside his head was going hard today.

“I still don’t get why they’re so invested.” Before Kamal could reply, Boris kept talking. “They don’t… resent me. They seem complete-lay okey with “hanging out” with me. They always ask how I am.” 

“Well, they’re kind of in the business of being like, all up in other people’s… businesses.” He stared off, processing what he had just said. “Okay, that came out weird. You know what I mean. They just make friends with everyone they talk to.”

Boris giggled. “I know.”

“They pretty much freakin’ DRAGGED me out of the house as soon as they found out where I was. Which, fair, but geez. Can you believe it?”

“I can, atchoolly. They just show’d up at my house one day. Said they sent me an e-mail but I never replied. So they invited themselves in.” 

“Oh, wow.” Kamal squinted. “... Did you forget how to use your e-mail again?”

Boris’ guilty smile probably gave him the answer he was expecting.

“... Maybe. I kinda forgot how to use the computer. My memorie wasn’t the best when I was… you knoe.”

“Geez, yeah, I know.”

_ Of course he knows _, Boris thought. He had lived his crappy short term memory first hand. Things he didn’t remember saying, or doing. It probably made working with him extremely hard, but Kamal had still been there all the way until… 

Before he could complete that thought, Kamal kept talking.

“Remind me to uh, remind you how to use it now that you’re like… feeling better. You’ll have an easier time remembering stuff now, right?”

“Oh. Um, I think so.”

His confused expression must have been really obvious, because Kamal was mirroring it a second later. 

“Somethin’ wrong, doc?” 

“Uh, not exactly,” Boris could feel the heat rising up to his cheeks, so he averted his eyes like that would make Kamal not notice what a mess he was. “I’m just a teensy bit confused. I thought this was… a one time thing?” 

Kamal tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean! This visit. I thought it was some sort of… “closure” thing. I know you said it was okay before, but… are you really willing to forgive me that easily?”

“Oh. Uh. Well,” It looked like Kamal hadn’t thought that much ahead, either. “To be honest with ya I’m not even entirely sure what I came here to do. I didn’t have much time to figure it out. But I know one thing: I also messed up BIG TIME by helping you in the first place.” 

“Not as much as me.” Boris tried.

“No, of course not.” Kamal agreed. “But at least you’re trying to make things right. And ya know what? The Habitat did help some folks, even if it wasn’t in the way you were planning. I mean, technically flower squirt helped them but The Habitat gave them like… uh… a platform? Anyway. Honestly, I’m… not sure I actually forgive you? Not entirely, at least. I dunno." 

Even if that was to be expected, Boris’ heart still sunk._ Getting what’s coming to you really hurts, huh. _

“-- BUT.” As many times that afternoon, Kamal totally interrupted his mentally beating himself up. “I’m willing to work things out. If ya don’t get all cray on me again. I mean, I KNOW issues like that don’t go away overnight, or, uh, ever. But I can’t be getting the brunt of it all the time, ya know?” 

… That was it? Kamal was willing to… reconnect, just like that? 

Not that he was going to complain about a second chance, of course not. But…

“After everything I did… you mean it?” Boris picked at a loose thread on his shirt, only giving quick, nervous glances at Kamal. “You think we can be… friends again?”

“I mean-- if you want to be. We can try.” 

“Off course I do!” He finally looked up at Kamal. Last thing he wanted was his hesitancy to be read as rejection. “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

Kamal grinned-- teeth and all.

“Okay. Then we gotta go get some lunch sometime. Or whatever.” Like he seemed to remember something, he suddenly pursed his lips, scratching at his head. “Oh, also... I’m sorry about the park. ‘T was kind of a jerk move.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Boris waved his hand dismissively. “I had it coming!” 

“... Maybe a little. But I’m still sorry!” 

Boris smiled warmly, like he hadn’t in a while. And in that moment, he could notice Kamal’s cheeks getting just the slightest hint of red. Oh, no. That was kind of adorable?

_ He’s not even forgiven you yet. Stop getting ahead of yourself. _

For now, it was more than he deserved, and more than he would ever have imagined. 

Maybe things weren’t so bad after all. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

Maybe it’d be alright.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short conclusion.

Well. Life was back to normal, more or less. Or at least, as normal as life could get in that funky little community Kamal had become a part of. 

Luckily, it was only a matter of time until someone saw an opening to tap into the dental care market in town now that its only dentist had retired from the profession, so it wasn’t even two months before Kamal would be able to leave the shitty retail job he’d snagged in the meantime and go back to cleaning teeth. His life’s passion.

Well, not really. But the bills and rent for his new, nicer apartment had to be paid somehow. And he would much rather be giving out novocaine shots than getting yelled at by customers because they didn’t have out of season fruit in stock.

And then…

Then there was Habit.

It was kinda hard not to forgive him, after seeing how hard he was trying. He had hurt him, he had hurt Wallus, but really, to the rest of the Habiticians he hadn’t been more than a mild annoyance, thanks to the flower kid. 

For now, though, he did not let him know that, at least not with words. He wanted his actions to speak for him, and he supposed that grabbing lunch together in a near weekly basis was enough to tell him that they were on chill terms. Habit didn’t touch the subject of forgiveness or The Habitat, either. He seemed to get the message that Kamal wanted nothing more than to leave the past few months behind, and he was sure he felt the same way.

Seeing him so often, Kamal very quickly noticed that he had never seen Habit look healthier-- which wasn’t saying much, since he pretty much met him in the middle of a midlife crisis, but he was happy for him regardless. 

Really happy. Way more than he thought he would be.

And he really liked seeing him. A lot. Way more than he thought he would. 

He was even more funny and eloquent and charismatic than Kamal remembered him on his best days, which really, he didn’t think was possible. Every single time they saw each other, he looked genuinely content. Happy, even. He unabashedly talked about his interests, his garden, his art. Things that, just a few years ago, he would just barely start getting into before announcing that _ no, it’s stupid, nevermind _, leaving Kamal wanting to (gently) shake him by the shoulders and tell him that he’d never think his interests were stupid. That he could talk about them for hours if he wanted to and he’d listen.

He made a point of letting him know that he was very much interested in what he had to say now, though. And so did Habit, even though Kamal never had anything too interesting to say. But he didn’t seem to mind. He diligently listened and acted like him spending an entire work day organizing dental records was the most interesting thing he would hear in his entire life.

Of course, things were still hard. For him, and he was sure they also were for Habit, who was finding it in himself to confide more and more in Kamal. Not in the unhealthy, overwhelming way he had before, thank god, which in turn made Kamal feel like he could actually _ talk _ to him. For the first time in a long, long time.

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed him. How much he had longed to _ finally _get to see again the goofy guy he had befriended, happy, healthy, and sane. It made his heart warm.

… … … 

… Ah, shoot. It was happening again, wasn’t it? It was happening again.

While that thought should’ve filled Kamal with panic, surprisingly enough, he felt _ okay _ with it.

Being friends again felt okay. His soft spot deepening felt okay. Letting it run its course instead of frantically trying to stop it like it was a ticking time bomb felt okay.

His mundane, boring day to day routine also felt okay. Coming back home, sometimes to his own, sometimes to Wallus’, sometimes to the kid’s or sometimes to any of the other Habiticians’ he had befriended. Telling them about his day, and hearing about theirs. There was a stronger sense of community, one that maybe had always been there but Kamal had never felt a part of before coming back from The Habitat.

He wasn’t an outlier anymore. It was weird, but comforting. 

Kamal refreshed his email to find an unread message from Boris Habit, barely legible spelling reading:

_ “RE: Abuot tom rows get-togethher!!!(PS;;; yuo will NOT BELIV what i fond in3 the garden tooday!!!!!111!!!11)” _

… Yeah. He could get used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap. 
> 
> I like hopeful endings.
> 
> thanks for taking the time to read!


End file.
